Small talk and gossip may seem harmless and may appear to be acceptable since so many people engage in such conversations. Yet, they are true killers of productivity and self-improvement.

Small talk may be socially required as the very beginning of a conversation, but that’s where it must end. Continuing with emotionally shallow conversations is fruitless and indeed harmful because it implies that this is the limit of the person’s ability.

In my own life, I refuse to discuss weather. If I am confronted with an empty comment like “Terrible weather today, isn’t it?”, I just nod and do not reply. I am simply not interested in discussing a topic of no value.

Furthermore, I personally do not own a TV and hence I have a perfect excuse for not engaging in conversations about any TV show.

Gossip, however, is far worse.

On one hand, small talk is empty and meaningless (except for its ability to begin a conversation). On the other hand, gossip is actually negative and harmful.

The simple rule is that any criticism must be directed at the person who can do something about it. So, if an employee is complaining about a problem in the office to fellow employees, the only evolved response from the listener of such gossip is to ask the complainer to speak only to the staff member who can do something about that problem.

Criticism directly with wholesome intent at the person who can do something about it is not gossip but rather valid attempts at improvement.

Incessant small talk and gossip are two huge productivity killers, and self-improvement killers too.

By: Raymond Aaron

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I heard too much gossip last year and it has made me really negative about work. There’s a coworker that gossips all teh time and I’ve just been talking to her less and keeping a distance. What would you think if somebody told you they’re tired of gossip?

By: somebody

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As I get older and more mature (I am 23) I am trying to develop a part of my personality. I **** gossip and has only lead to trouble with me. The problem with being in a healthcare and female dominated career is that women gossip constantly. I am trying to only listen to people and friends and not say anything back that leads to gossiping. So when my friends and coworkers gossip, how does one stay neutral without stunting relationships with people?

By: dewingedfairy

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Need some good points for a debate; we are affirmative in this case, my team needs some good reasons why social networking sites such as Facebook do not encourage an Unhealthy obsession to gossip and trivia.
Any help appreciated.

By: Ben

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Have you ever noticed this? MY teachers gossip about other students and other teachers all the time. Whenever a teacher over hears a student gossiping about another student.. there’s a problem.. am I right?

By: You Okay,BB?

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I believe there is that and being left alone but most a time I hear people talking about me and see some look at me with confused or condescending looks. I am quiet and never speak unless spoken to and even then I avoid gossip and frivolous conversation. Is there any reason for this? Thank you in advance for answering.

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When you and your partner are in the middle of an ongoing conflict, what do you do? Do the two of you sit down calmly and discuss how you can create a workable solution? If you are in an ongoing conflict, probably not. Do you turn to friends to rant and rave about how awful your partner is? If you do this, you are destroying your chances of rebuilding intimacy with your partner. Both men and women engage in this destructive practice of gossip, though women tend to be more likely to do it, since we are the ones who want to talk through things with others.

How does gossip harm your relationship?

It only tells one side of the story: yours Your side of the story is always biased in your favor It allows you to get false validation from your friends that you are the victim and your partner is the lowdown dirty scum It gives you more ammunition to continue the conflict, keeping your anger level high with a little help from your friends Using your friends as amateur therapists only complicates your relationship with your partner It keeps you from reconnecting with your partner to figure out how to resolve your conflict When you and your partner do make up, which is what usually happens (at least in the beginning), your friends get angry at you for staying together

Is it gossip if you talk to people in online forums, chat rooms, or social media? You bet it is. Even if you only have an online relationship with these “friends” you are still gossiping when you present your side of the story about a conflict with your online buddies. Both gossip with a live group of people and online gossip are betrayals to your relationship. Yes, when you speak maliciously about the one you say you love, you are betraying your partner and your relationship.

If you recognize that gossip is harming your relationship and want to do something different, what can you do? Here are a few ideas to get you started:

Start by admitting that gossip is harmful to your relationship Make a decision right now to stop talking badly about your partner to others, both in person and online Talk with your partner about making an agreement to learn some conflict resolution skills Decide who will investigate where you can take some classes, workshops, marriage retreats, or even individual coaching to improve your communication skills and help you reconnect Once you have found the program you want to take, sign up and go to it. It is too easy to talk yourselves out of it once you are calmer. Follow through with for the benefit of your relationship!

By: Michelle Enis Vasquez

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Like if I had a meeting with Tom and and I later on I told my other friends how the meeting went. Is talking about a personal problem or situation considered gossip?

By: cocolicious

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Is perception more important than reality when it comes to gossip?

By: 4.28.2011

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I learned that every time you learn something you get a new wrinkle in your brain. If you didn’t know that, you just got a wrinkle in your brain. That’s why babies brains, when they are first born, their brains are smooth. Well, I was wondering if you learned new gossip about someone or something that’s not educational do you get wrinkles also? What about if you hear some lies that are educational or not?

By: unexpectedromance

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